I'm 10000 feet in the air flying a small plane. I'm not really sure if that's a safe height or not. In all honesty I'm not really trained to be a pilot. I just decided to get flying lessons on a whim.
People seem to respect your death a lot more if it came from a tragic flying accident. Actually now that I think about that thats probably not true. Whenever I hear about musicians or athletes or actors dying because they were flying their own planes I'm always wondering what the heck was wrong with these people? Stick to acting!!
I'm eating a really big sandwich right now and kind of bit off more than I could chew. I chug some water to soften the bread in my mouth but it's not really helping. I persevere though cause it's a Dutch crunch grilled chicken sandwich with garlic mayo and wow is it really good.
Plot twist you meet someone you never expected to see again
The cockpit door opens. I'm rather shocked as for one I forgot that I was flying a commercial plane and not the kind where your head is sticking out. But secondly no one else was supposed to be on board. I want to turn around but I've got a big sandwich in one hand and the steering wheel in the other hand. I probably shouldn't be focusing on three things at once I tell myself. Two is plenty.
Its Vincent van Gogh. He had come to me in a dream a few days back and given me a bunch of nutrageous bars.
"Hey Vincent"
"Hello"
"Hows it going?"
"I'm okay. My ear isn't doing too great though"
I look over for a moment and see a piece of cloth stapled to his head. Theres red blood marks but not so much that either of us would be drowning in blood anytime soon. I was a little afraid that was going to be the case to tell you the truth.
"I thought I wished for your ear to heal"
"Well that was another story. In this story you're flying a plane and eating a sandwich."
"You mean theres no continuity?"
"Not that I know of. I mean you're flying the plane you would know better than me"
"Howd you get on the plane?"
Plot twist - you get a feeling of imminent danger
Suddenly I hear flashes of lightning and the plane starts to wobble. The sky outside turns a dark gray. I start panicking and trying to get the plane back on course.
"Do you want me to help? I'm good at flying planes"
"What? How is that even possible?"
"You can take a class in heaven. They have lots of classes there."
"Well okay help if you can."
We switch seats and Vincent takes over the wheel. Suddenly the lightning clears and the plane stops wobbling.
"How the hell did you do that?" I ask.
"You can do lots of stuff when you're dead."
"Is that so?"
"No not really. I mean you can, but you've gotta take a class."
Plot twist : you get a call from an unknown number / you discover a trap door
My phone starts to ring. It's from an unknown number. I'm not supposed to get service from up here. I answer.
"Hello?"
"Hi is Vincent here?"
"Yeah who's this"
"This is God."
"Oh hey it's nice to meet you."
"Can you put vincent on the line please?"
"Hey why do you need to call anyway cant you just talk from the heavens or anything?"
"You've got the wrong idea about me. Put Vincent on the line okay?
Vincent looks a little uneasy. I hand him the phone. I can overhear what God is saying in the background.
"Hello?"
"Vincent you know how I feel about you flying planes. You're not ready."
"But I took a class."
"Yes, A class. Theres three more."
"I'm sorry."
"Tell your friend to open the door"
"You don't have to do this"
"Tell him to open it"
He looks at me and motions toward the ground. I turn around and notice the cockpit door isnt there anymore and instead theres a trap door on the ground.
"What the hell? What's this?"
"He says to open it."
"Where does it go?"
I can hear god on the other line. "Tell him itll be safe."
Vincent looks at me.
"Itll be safe."
"Okay."
I open the trap door and suddenly get sucked under the plane. I am free falling in mid air and hurtling toward the ground. I wonder where I went wrong. Maybe I shouldn't have opened the trap door. The whole thing was kind of suspect.
I reach into my pocket and find a nutrageous bar. Suddenly life doesn't feel so bad. I take a bite and think to myself that if I'm going to experience anything right before I die I'm glad it's the flavor of peanuts
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